LOST.
Lately I write with difficulty on the blog, but not because they have something to scrivere.ANZI.Ma here as well as in life I'm afraid of wearing a mask. Each post is always true, real, immediato.Ma there is something wrong. Inconsistency. Words often pungent, deep thoughts, difficult, convoluted, to Sometimes sad and incomprehensible. All this in a blog from the green background with a ladybug and a picture of me smiling. A picture of me smiling and happy outside but inside very restless. Contrast, inconsistency, a contradiction. Yes today I feel like a contradiction: the dictionary
Sabatini Coletti says, "the principle of non contraddizone in Aristotle's thought: that the same thing can not belong and not belong to the same institution at the same time (eg, you can not simultaneously walk and stand still). "
C ome then I never feel I walk and stand still at the same time? the truth these days is that I nonsoancorachicavolosono is fraying. And this I do not know who leads me to want to force to identify with something, someone. And so in the years I became a girl with blond hair, thin, shy and insecure girl. I wore the classic steps of the good girl. The girl next door. The girl well and good manners. But she too silent too often silent to please others, not to disappoint. My unconscious habit of wanting to appear perfect in the eyes of others. This is my obsession with controlling the thoughts of all those who make sure those are positive towards me. My mania to move forward in the same same straight direction as not to disappoint others and the illusion of being "normal" girl like many others.
I wonder: is it possible to change 23 years?
I just want to be able to become myself. That true.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Blue Seat Covers For A Vw Beetle
slides again ..
weird these days .. day .. day free and not free of thoughts, memories faded and live at the same time. Remember kids, little girl, an adolescent. Days of confusion, fear for the future, days full of questions and awareness to have few answers. Days when I see sense and nonsense. Days when even a leaf stimulates my thoughts and my questions. Wants to scream, yell ... but sometimes feel suffocated, crushed by a world too large but also small. Days when I realize that everything around us is a distrazione: l'università , la casa, i passatempi...tutte distrazioni che ci portano al non pensiero..a evitare tutti quei temi che ci fanno paura e che vogliamo allontanare...siamo sempre di corsa, indaffarati, stracolmi di cose da fare. Io ho deciso di fermarmi. Sì, mi sono fermata un po'. Non vedo il senso di tante cose, non capisco alla fine di tutto quale sia la differenza fra un 18 e un 30, fra l'avere un lavoro e il non averlo. Non capisco quale sia il senso di questa corsa faticosa, il senso di questo lottare contro tutto e tutti. Ogni giorno in questo mondo devi lottare per emergere, per non farti schiacciare, devi adeguarti ed essere in un certo modo se vuoi far parte del gruppo. Devi adeguarti, devi entrare in quel circolo, in quel fottuto system of shit. Come quell'uragano pushed hard in fact suck, consumerism, surface, superficial, appearance. A world full of selfishness and narcissism. I can not stay inside all this shit .. and I find that I have to wonder who in the end I believe there somewhere. There .. because when we are small and pure riuciamo goni corner to see them in wonder. Growing up we are deprived of that purity .. teach us to change, to be made ... they teach us a lot of things wrong. We remove the spontaneity from the first day of school .. like compounds and the soldiers still in the pews ... divide the mind and body. Away spirituality. Fill us with things to do and we take away the experience, that truly touched by hand ... .. smells, tastes, smells, racing in the rain, crying, screaming ... feel like it ... want to get rid of all that is useless and immerse myself in the simplicity ..
"Conti hurt the things that did not go as you wanted
fearing only ever appear
worst of what you really are.
accurate accounts to remember those who have avoided
looks and how many words you've spoken
not to risk disappointing.
The house, the whole day,
the journey that you did to feel more confident
closer to yourself,
but not enough is never enough.
slides again and again as
one morning you were to dress and do not be ashamed to cover
slides again and again as if expecting another
surprise that faces
too distracted and absent
to understand your silence
there is a world of Intent
behind transparent
you close your eyes a bit '.
return to feeling the edges of that courage
failure that instantly make your eyes
lowest
invisible and your thoughts go back to count the days
know that you do not know how to wait
have closed too many doors for them
reopen
you embrace what you no longer
The house, clothes,
party and your smile and kept after erupted
want you to hurt less,
but not enough is never enough
slides again and again as you were a
morning to dress and do not be ashamed to cover
slides
again and again as if expecting another
surprise that faces
too distracted and absent
to understand your silence is a world of
intent behind the eyes transparent
you close a bit '.
And you do not want any mistakes
want to live but he who does not live
leaves the sign of the biggest mistake.
slides again and again as you were a morning
to wear and do not be ashamed to cover
slides again and again as if expecting another
surprise that faces away
and too distracted to understand your silence is a world of
intent behind the eyes
clear that close a bit '.
I close a bit '. What
close ...
"
weird these days .. day .. day free and not free of thoughts, memories faded and live at the same time. Remember kids, little girl, an adolescent. Days of confusion, fear for the future, days full of questions and awareness to have few answers. Days when I see sense and nonsense. Days when even a leaf stimulates my thoughts and my questions. Wants to scream, yell ... but sometimes feel suffocated, crushed by a world too large but also small. Days when I realize that everything around us is a distrazione: l'università , la casa, i passatempi...tutte distrazioni che ci portano al non pensiero..a evitare tutti quei temi che ci fanno paura e che vogliamo allontanare...siamo sempre di corsa, indaffarati, stracolmi di cose da fare. Io ho deciso di fermarmi. Sì, mi sono fermata un po'. Non vedo il senso di tante cose, non capisco alla fine di tutto quale sia la differenza fra un 18 e un 30, fra l'avere un lavoro e il non averlo. Non capisco quale sia il senso di questa corsa faticosa, il senso di questo lottare contro tutto e tutti. Ogni giorno in questo mondo devi lottare per emergere, per non farti schiacciare, devi adeguarti ed essere in un certo modo se vuoi far parte del gruppo. Devi adeguarti, devi entrare in quel circolo, in quel fottuto system of shit. Come quell'uragano pushed hard in fact suck, consumerism, surface, superficial, appearance. A world full of selfishness and narcissism. I can not stay inside all this shit .. and I find that I have to wonder who in the end I believe there somewhere. There .. because when we are small and pure riuciamo goni corner to see them in wonder. Growing up we are deprived of that purity .. teach us to change, to be made ... they teach us a lot of things wrong. We remove the spontaneity from the first day of school .. like compounds and the soldiers still in the pews ... divide the mind and body. Away spirituality. Fill us with things to do and we take away the experience, that truly touched by hand ... .. smells, tastes, smells, racing in the rain, crying, screaming ... feel like it ... want to get rid of all that is useless and immerse myself in the simplicity ..
"Conti hurt the things that did not go as you wanted
fearing only ever appear
worst of what you really are.
accurate accounts to remember those who have avoided
looks and how many words you've spoken
not to risk disappointing.
The house, the whole day,
the journey that you did to feel more confident
closer to yourself,
but not enough is never enough.
slides again and again as
one morning you were to dress and do not be ashamed to cover
slides again and again as if expecting another
surprise that faces
too distracted and absent
to understand your silence
there is a world of Intent
behind transparent
you close your eyes a bit '.
return to feeling the edges of that courage
failure that instantly make your eyes
lowest
invisible and your thoughts go back to count the days
know that you do not know how to wait
have closed too many doors for them
reopen
you embrace what you no longer
The house, clothes,
party and your smile and kept after erupted
want you to hurt less,
but not enough is never enough
slides again and again as you were a
morning to dress and do not be ashamed to cover
slides
again and again as if expecting another
surprise that faces
too distracted and absent
to understand your silence is a world of
intent behind the eyes transparent
you close a bit '.
And you do not want any mistakes
want to live but he who does not live
leaves the sign of the biggest mistake.
slides again and again as you were a morning
to wear and do not be ashamed to cover
slides again and again as if expecting another
surprise that faces away
and too distracted to understand your silence is a world of
intent behind the eyes
clear that close a bit '.
I close a bit '. What
close ...
"
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